Emotional Spectrum

growth seriesWarning!  Vulnerable blog post coming up.

These two paintings are the first to be completed for a series idea that I have recently fallen in love with.  I am SO excited to take you on this journey.  However, I am also nervous, because it requires being vulnerable, and real, and admitting that my thoughts and feelings towards myself are not kind.

I strive to be like the painting on the right…head held high, standing confidently in the light with the darkness behind me.  Surrounded by beauty, of which I am completely aware of and grateful for.  Strongly rooted, healthy, and growing .

Yet recently, I have been battling with my “not enough” gremlins, and spent a few days feeling very much like the painting on the left.  This was the first time while experiencing those feelings, I painted to work through them and express them, rather than to hide them, distract from them or make them “pretty”.

I must say, I absolutely love both of these paintings.  And they are both so emotional and real to me.  Even though the one on the left is so sad, defeated, and weak, wilted in her unworthiness, completing her brought me such joy.  I am no longer hiding…no longer pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows.  I am embracing imperfection in so many ways…through the art by letting the discrepancies be, as well as by admitting that I am flawed in my thoughts and feelings, to name just a few.

Do you create through tough emotions or around them?  Do you express them or make them go away for the time being?  Or does your creative energy shut down when you are low, as it has for me so many times.  I am determined to work through my emotions in my art.  We are not alone in our thoughts and feelings.  And there is nothing to be ashamed of when a low day comes around.  It is ok to feel not ok.  Only through feeling it, and expressing it, can we break the hold of depression.

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